“Let us always meet each other with a smile, for the smile is the beginning of love.“
- Mother Theresa (Catholic Clergy)
“For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.“
- Judy Garland (Actress)
“A flower cannot blossom without sunshine, and man cannot live without love.“
- Max Muller (Scholar)
So you’ve met someone wonderful who caught your eye at school, at the library, at a party, at a club. They seem to be as interested in you as you are in them, if you are very lucky they may be your Starcrossed Lover. You start to contemplate each other, you start to contemplate making time for each other . . .
Know yourself. Who you are, what it means to be you. Know the cultural and Spirit/karmic rules around love relationships (ask telepathically). I suspect it is tabu to talk openly about the secret cultural rules and Spirit rules described verbally is like naming God and could cause a loss of grace and bad karma.
Explore the buzz around this person, what they are all about. Has someone cursed them? is someone looking for them? does someone have plans for them? have they had past lovers? etc. Know where the person has been and what it means. This information can come from the person or from others. If it comes from others, it might be a good idea to communicate these findings with the person, you might be telling them something they don’t know (even if it is just in telepathy).
If initial findings prove positive become friends. Best friends. Get to know each other very well. (see How to Discern the Perfect Marriage). Favourite colours/soul colours (if they match or not; the more favourite colours you share in common the more positive the relationship will be). Are you the same psychological type? (free tests on the Internet; the same or similar psychological types are simpatico). Is your friend a cousin? (cousins may be quite simpatico). Is your friend an attractive physical type? (you could be looking at this face at breakfast every morning for a longtime).
Have great conversations, the gift of love and friendship is an ongoing dialogue. See what you share opinions on. Do you share similar interests?
Explore your tastes in music and literature. Share what you are reading/the movies you are seeing and discuss them.
Go out to places that you both have an interest in. Art galleries, restaurants, movie houses.
Notice what the other person needs and give it to them. The relationship becomes a series of gifts that you give to each other. It doesn’t have to be a big gift, it can be any little thing that the person may like or need. Even gloves, socks, kitchen stuff, flowers, a hug, any thing you notice that the other person needs. So the relationship becomes about sustenance, looking after each other, feeding each other love in the gift of life. There is an Old World adage, “love and death not for monies” accepting monies in a non-covenant intimate relationship is I suspect like being Judas it is bad karma, in a love affair it is better to give gifts.
Participate in the ritual of sharing and preparing a meal. The simple act of preparing and sharing food together with conversation is a beautiful gift of ritual and love. Lovers Tryst: one of the most beautiful way is for a lover to "go into freefall" and in a stream of consciousness babble original love poetry at their lover (if the love interest is interested and in the mood they will return the love babble poetry). This is good in public with friends, family, coworkers present or when you are alone together. It tells you someone loves you, may signify the beginning of an affair and tells the world you are serious in love. This is for real serious love affairs, the poetry is verbalized, the weight of the poetry says everything. If the poetry escalates you may end up in the bedroom. Poetry, steamy and fresh (be aware of the cultural/karmic rules of love).
Participate in the ritual of attending Church together. Celebrating the gift of love from the Holy Spirit with each other and the Community.
Introduce your Loved One to your favourite people, family and friends. Get impressions of suitability for a longterm relationship.
Write your Loved One notes of poetry in birthday, special occasion and just because cards.
Give each other hugs and/or massages through clothes. It is best to ask first as sometimes people have body issues or may be in a bad mood.
Never miss a chance to tell your Loved One you love them.
After developing friendship and an affair of the heart:
Never lie to your lover, friendships and good relations are important.
Don’t get your wires crossed about intentions. It is important that both people understand what each others intentions towards each other are. Don’t get caught up in cross talk, you can believe what they are saying. If your intentions are different just stay good friends rather than taking the relationship to the level of sex and marriage. Try not to wear rose coloured glasses and accept the reality of the situation. Sometimes a special friend will grow into a lover, sometimes they don’t.
Do you share similar goals? Do you want the same things?
If the gentleman is serious and respects the girl he will marry her. Traditions around dating may be different for different families and cultures. Traditionally you may date a number of people (without having sex) and then decide on which one you will marry together with each other and your families. Everyone has a Starcrossed Lover (sometimes more than one who you may meet at anytime) or a more suited lover and there may be unofficial rules of the economy/love lives. When your family is copacetic (and maybe even if it isn't copacetic) your marriage may be decided in concert with your family. They may have special insight or information and/or influence.
Usually sex means babies in the natural flow of romantic relationships. Make informed choices e.g. birth control.
Stay karmically pure by not having too many sexual relationships. People who have had too many lovers are potentially murderers/suicides/mental patients/and prone to suffer from addictions. (Remember this every time you leave a lover). After more than 5 opposite sex lovers or one same sex lover (heard on the street) you will get a Sign from God that you are no longer karmically pure.
Theoretically, if a relationship is properly discerned it would not break; if you are Starcrossed or a good settle (most of your soul colors match (you do not love a colour he hates and vice versa), you love each others inner child, you are the same or similar psychological type and may be cousins). If a relationship breaks, be kind and do not curse your leaving lover more than a slight of public opinion (there is a Pining Prayer that takes away the emotional pain of loss).
A real love affair that is based in mutual love, trust and friendship should be able to continue in friendship forever. Affairs of the heart are free.
The Way of Peace,